Why Coping Skills Aren’t Enough—and How Somatic Experiencing Goes Deeper
Have you ever wondered why you keep coming back to the same place, no matter how many coping skills you learn?
A lot of us grew up with the idea that handling emotions means keeping things under control, which often comes down to using coping skills—things like breathing techniques, grounding exercises, or ways to distract yourself when things get intense. And hey, coping skills are helpful for a lot of reasons:
They get you through the day without totally losing it, especially when life doesn’t give you room to melt down.
They can help you steer clear of those knee-jerk reactions and unhelpful habits that keep you stuck.
But here’s the thing: coping skills only go so far. They’re great for managing stress, but they don’t help you process emotions. And if you’re just managing, not processing, you’re probably still feeling stuck on some level.
That’s where somatic experiencing comes in.
In somatic work, we’re not just teaching you how to handle your emotions; we’re building your ability to actually feel them without shutting down. This may sound tough, but when you can experience and move through big emotions—along with all the physical stuff they stir up—you’re building emotional resilience in a way that’s powerful and lasting.
Here’s how:
1. You Build Real Resilience
In somatic experiencing, we build your capacity for big feelings gradually. We’re not going from 0 to 60 here. This slow increase in tolerance is called titration, and it’s all about letting you feel your emotions without letting them overwhelm you. Life will still throw challenges your way, but the difference is that when you can handle those emotions as they come, you’re not always on edge waiting for the next thing to knock you over.
2. You Address the Past So It Stops Hijacking the Present
If you’re dealing with CPTSD, ADHD, or past trauma, you probably feel like there’s a disconnect between what you know and what you feel. Many people come to me after years in therapy, knowing all about their triggers and where they come from, but still feeling frozen when stress hits.
Why? Because understanding your patterns doesn’t mean you’ve actually released the emotions and physical responses tied to those patterns. So when something reminds you of past trauma—even unconsciously—your body reacts on autopilot, and it’s like you’re right back in survival mode.
This is why you can feel like you’re at the starting line over and over, no matter how much work you’ve done. Your body hasn’t had the chance to discharge those reactions, and that means you’re still stuck in survival mode when life throws anything remotely familiar your way.
Building Capacity, Not Just Coping
And no, this doesn’t mean you have to dive headfirst into every difficult emotion. Somatic experiencing is about building up your tolerance slowly. As we expand your ability to handle the tough stuff, we’re also increasing your capacity for the good stuff—things like joy, peace, and even pleasure. It’s all part of the same capacity-building.
Once you’ve allowed yourself to fully experience and release these emotions on a physical level, life feels different. You’re not constantly reliving old pain, and even when things go wrong, you’re better equipped to handle it.
Curious to Know More?
If any of this resonates, and you’re tired of feeling stuck at that same starting line, sign up for my newsletter here. I’ll be sharing more ways to build real resilience, let go of old patterns, and move forward with more ease. No fluff, just real insights and support.
